On September 8 our dear mother, Lou Lou Belle died in her home, surrounded by family and caregivers who held her and sang to her as she passed. She was 96 years old, having just recently celebrated her birthday with an apartment full of well-wishers, a piano player, two cakes, and two renditions of Happy Birthday, and a very happy birthday girl.
Born in 1928, Mary Louise Beattie was raised in Warwick, NY, alongside her younger sister, Jean, and an irrepressible confederation of neighborhood kids and cousins who remained close friends their entire lives. While not yet teenagers, they formed the Skull and Crossbones Club, holding meetings in the Lewis’ barn next door. Lou was secretary to the group, and her meticulous minutes survive to this day. She graduated from Warwick High School in 1945 and attended Pine Manor in Wellesley for two years, earning an associate’s degree. After college, Lou moved to Manhattan and got an apartment with Jackie Jacob on 86th Street, between two funeral homes. She worked in retail, selling cosmetics at Henri Bendel, and later working her way up to section manager at B. Altman’s along with her good friend, Addy Beatty. Lou always liked a party, and she and Jackie held quite a few. At one of them, she fell for Jackie’s cousin, a bookish fellow with glasses, recently returned from the war. She married Jim Jacob in 1954, and they settled in Lewisboro, NY, while Jim taught math and English in New Canaan, Connecticut, at St. Luke’s School, where he eventually become headmaster.
Jim told his bride he would show her the world, and he was as good as his word. After 17 years in Lewisboro, with four children in tow — the youngest still in diapers — Lou and Jim moved to Torino, Italy, where Jim was headmaster of the American International School of Torino, a small school in a large villa with children of all nationalities. Their weekends and summer vacations were spent traveling across Europe in a red VW bus. In 1971, they moved again, this time to Caracas, Venezuela, for two years at Colegio Internacional de Caracas, a larger school with an even larger international enrollment. Returning to the United States in 1974, Jim joined Collegiate School in New York City as head of middle school, later becoming the admissions director, while Lou went to the Trinity School to work in the Development office. Later, she became manager of the Gazebo at 60th Street and Madison Avenue for four years. In 1989, she was invited to be the assistant to the head of Lower School at Collegiate, overlapping for one year with Jim before he retired in 1990 as admissions director.
Lou joined Jim in retirement in 1996, but they were far from sedentary. They traveled the world, visiting Europe, Egypt, and Hong Kong, among other exotic locales and traversed the St. Lawrence River in a houseboat. While Jim finished his doctorate at Columbia, Lou took up yoga, and she became involved in caring for the gardens of Riverside Drive, earning a citation of thanks from the mayor, along with the nickname of Raindrop. Late in life, they led a month-long family trip to Japan, with children and grandchildren along for the ride to witness their son John’s formal Japanese wedding to Noriko Fuku in Kyoto.
After Jim’s passing, Lou Lou Belle continued to be involved in her children’s lives and in the life of the city. When she wasn’t visiting Sarah in Larchmont, Lou was a regular for many years on the Limo Liner, traveling to Boston to see Bill’s theater productions, to Washington, D.C. to see John’s exhibits at the Smithsonian, and to Canaan, NY, to visit Abby’s Christmas tree farm. Though she lost her capacity to speak in her waning years, the twinkle in Lou’s eye remained as strong as ever and it was clear she knew and appreciated the love she felt all around her, and even more so when it involved a party.
The family is deeply grateful to Lou’s long-time caregiver, Dayien Montanez, and her many collaborating helpers who cared for our mother in her home in her final years. The gentle, loving kindness they extended towards her every day is a gift we shall always cherish.
Mary Lou Jacob is survived by her sister Jean Beattie May, and by her children Abbie Miller, John and Bill Jacob, and Sarah Beyrich; and grandchildren Sarah and Breck Miller, Chelsea and Acadia Jacob, and Henry, Abigail, and Caroline Beyrich.
A memorial service will be held on Saturday, November 23 at 3 p.m. at New York’s West End Collegiate Church on West End Avenue and 77th Street, with a reception to follow.
In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to the Columbia University Memory Research Disorder Group. Checks should be made out to “Trustees of Columbia University,” with a memo notation: “In memory of Mary Lou Jacob for Memory Disorder Research.”
Online donations can be made here: medicine.givenow.columbia.edu/?alloc=10584#.
Checks can be mailed to:Columbia University Irving Medical Center, Office of Development, 516 West 168th Street, New York, NY 10032.